New Year’s, Realizations, Truth and Moving Forward

Every year I write a post for the new year and usually is goes along the lines of mentioning how I want to really discover myself, figure out who I am and what I want and pretty much I never do. It is just the same routine, I fall into / stay in the same rhythm and haven’t been able to pull myself out. 

So this year do I want to the same things? Well to a certain extent yes and then on the other hand no but that’s not a bad thing, I just want different things. 

So what has changed? Really it began with simply following some new people on Instagram, it started with one person and they led me to others. Through my time following these people, I have done some deep thinking and have been realizing that there are a few things I need to do before I can really start moving forward. One of things is being completely honest and start sharing my story, in hopes that I can acknowledge it, release it and that it may in turn help someone else, just as those I have been inspired by have done.

What does that mean exactly, well I hope you keep reading to find out.

I know I am unfortunately not alone in some or all (I am still only just barely scratching the surface as the story runs far deeper and will take much more time to unfold than I am going into today) of what I am about to share and I know that some people may not consider it that bad compared to what others have gone through, but that doesn’t change the affect on me and my life. Our experiences and how they shape us should not be compared to each other, it is not a competition about who has had it worse, it is about how we take what we have and move past it, use it to fuel us towards something better and help others.

Ok, so this is scary, deep breath, there are people who know me well that already know these things about me and people who are close enough with me that are aware of some of the high level details, but sharing it like this on this platform is a whole other thing, but here it goes anyway. 

I am a survivor of trauma. This is a recent realization for me, even after having spoken to professionals over the years not one of them have identified my experiences as traumas, but that is what they are.

My trauma began when I was still very young, I don’t remember exactly my age but it was pre-grade two for sure when it all began. 

The traumas I have experienced involve – never being a child (a child by age but nothing else – I will elaborate on this), threats of physical violence, emotional abuse, battling with anorexia and body dysmorphia, and constantly being told and shown that I was not good enough; to provide an overarching summary. 

Okay, so what does all of that mean? Well, I grew up in a home with a family that was manipulative and corrosive. My parents are essentially con artists and mentally ill, and this was something that I bore the brunt of. They had a way of pulling people into their lies and onto their side, including my older sister. 

This all started when I was very young as I mentioned and my mother announced she was going to walk across the highway near our home and get taken out by a truck. This was one of many suicide threats or suicide attempts that I would have to deal with or stop. As a child I stopped my mother from attempting suicide multiple times and have heard countless threats from both of my parents as this was always an option for dealing with their problems. Please don’t misunderstand me, mental illness and suicide is a serious matter, it is just not one that a child should have to manage for their parents. I had to grow up at a very young age in order to be able to take care of myself, my older sister and my parents.

I began working at the age of 12 and contributing financially to the household because my parents would blow money like nothing and needed help paying the bills. I’ve seen them go through bankruptcy multiple times. Since I was old enough to operate the vacuum and washing machine I was required to take care of the house when coming home from school (before even being allowed to do my homework), I paid for my own clothes, I cooked, I cleaned, and I worked. This was just my life, I was a servant and provider to my parents. My father had a bad temper and it was nothing for him to get pissed off and punch a hole in the wall beside my head or raise his hand to hit me, one thing I will say he didn’t hit me but the emotional and physical stress of not knowing whether or not at that moment would be the time, was possibly worse I think. 

If I didn’t do something right or meet expectations for school, cleaning, providing money or whatever I heard about it. I was never good enough, my marks were never good enough despite always being on the honour role. There was constant manipulation around money and not giving them enough. I never gave them my full pay checks, as I kept savings for myself in order to move away as soon as I could.

In high school things got much worse, I was going to school full time, working 3 part time jobs and began my journey into anorexia. My mother constantly belittled me about food and told me I was fat (up until a few months ago I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life). I took this to heart, she was my mom so I began dieting and exercising and dieting led to not eating as it didn’t seem to be enough, I was still fat and reminded daily of it. There were weeks where all I had was coffee, that’s it, that was what I had for nutrition for the week. All of my friends at school were worried about me but I just told them I was fine and just not really a lunch person, because I never ate lunch, but that I had a good breakfast and dinner so it was all good. That of course was a lie, there was no breakfast ever and no good dinner. So this also led to my wildly incorrect vision of myself, how I looked, how big I thought I was and what others must think. I was a mess, going down a path that could have led to some very serious consequences.

Luckily, also near the end of high school I met some people from the other high school in the area and we became friends. Why does this matter, because one of those people would eventually become my husband. Again, you might ask why does that matter? It was when we began dating, after being friends for a couple of years, and I began to hang out with his family that I discovered what I had grown up with wasn’t remotely normal or ok. I had always thought it was normal, what I experienced and that other kids were spoiled maybe or that I was grateful to know why I couldn’t have something, we were a team right, a family, we took care of each other that was totally normal, right? I was so wrong and just didn’t know it.

When I was 18 my parents kicked me out, they didn’t like that I had developed a life, they didn’t like that I wasn’t handing over my whole pay checks and they didn’t like the hours I kept, I wasn’t home much between work and spending time with friends,  so they kicked me out and if I wanted to stay I had to pay more money, do more chores, and be home by 12:30am everyday no exceptions. One phone call to my boyfriend (now hubby) for some help and everything changed forever. His family took me in and got me heathy, they nourished not just my body but my heart, mind and soul. I was able to go to school and get a degree and make a life for myself because of them, they still don’t believe they have done anything special, but they saved my life really. 

All of that being said, I still struggle every single day with body dysmorphia, I don’t believe in myself the way I should because it was so engrained that I wasn’t ever good enough. I constantly compare myself to others and wish for what they have because I have a hard time not wanting more and to be more, to matter, to make a difference. There are so very many things in my life I am forever grateful for and so very lucky to have, this I know, even the facts of what I have been through has contributed to who I have become but it doesn’t come without costs.

So one thing that is different from last years New Years post, is that in 2019 I have been grateful to hear from others struggling, to know that I am not alone, to know that I am enough, to know that I can be what I want to be and it’s ok to both be ok and to not be as well. I will not let what I have been through keep me down and leave me a victim. I continue to learn from it, grow knowing I am more than my past and I am going to release this, move forward with my head high and become the person I want to be.

I hope that in reading this you may understand me a little better, you may find hope and comfort knowing you aren’t alone either and that together we can create better tomorrows for ourselves and for others by sharing our stories. 

I hope that you find joy in 2020, I hope that you find yourself and you remain true to who that is, even if you don’t fully know who that is yet. I hope that you never have to experience what I have and that if you are going through it right now that you know you are not alone, it can get better, there is a better tomorrow.

I would really like to thank all of you that have bravely shared your stories and through your actions created a supportive community that has helped me so much already.

Thank you to all of you who have read this all the way through, your support is very much appreciated and I look forward to continuing to connect with you.

Here’s to 2020, I have so many new goals and dreams for the future and all of its wondrous possibilities.


This is scary but it’s time

I feel that even though this is an extremely scary post for me to make I need to do it now in light of some new developments in the app world, specifically dieting and children.

As many of you may have heard Weight Watchers has released an app that is focused on weight loss for children. In my opinion, this is extremely detrimental to the mental wellness of children and this can have an important impact on the way that these children will see themselves for the rest of their lives.

Why is this such a scary post for me you might ask? First of all it is controversial, second of all it makes me feel very vulnerable and exposed, and thirdly I know I am not alone in such a journey but it has been a hard one for me. So a little piece of my story is that while I did not have a dieting app to influence me when I was a child, unfortunately I had something far worse then an app. I had a mother that constantly told me I was fat and needed to watch what I ate, who would shame me in public for grabbing for a dessert or having a proper portion. As a result of this behaviour I became an anorexic and obsessively worked out every single day to try and please her, to have her approval of my body, to not let her down.

While I did eventually get healthy, due to some amazing people in my life, I have never been okay with my body. I am still not okay with my body, I am currently at the heaviest I have been in my life and I hate it every day, I make fashion choices that hide my shape because I am afraid of backlash from others about my body. I have a completely unhealthy image of my body and it stems from never being taught the proper way to be healthy or see what healthy is because I grew up in a household that did not believe in healthy eating, exercising or a balanced way of living what so ever. I have over the years learned to enjoy exercise and eat a balanced diet, I have also had some setbacks in my exercise journey that has caused delays in getting back to a weight I am comfortable which is not about the number on the scale (which I know is important now) but rather about being healthy and strong. I have also been inspired recently by some truly amazing women trying to make a difference and I feel like this is the time to work on this for myself and join them in the fight for a healthy body image.

There are so many of us that have to deal with body issues, incorrect views of ourselves, and pressure from everywhere, I just can’t understand why people think it is okay to create diet apps for children. Children need to be taught how to play, eat balanced and nutritious meals, to be little kids, to be whimsical and use their imaginations and to dream of the future and all of its possibilities. They should not be concerned about an app like this.

Learning of this app made me so sad and brought up a lot of bad memories, I honestly don’t understand these things and why people think they are necessary.

Let’s try to make a better future for everyone where they are happy and healthy.



Something we always forget!

Whether you are a beauty junkie or just keeping it simple there is usually something we all either forget entirely or neglect for far longer then we should!

What might you say? Well it’s simple, cleaning our makeup and application tools (brushes, beauty blenders, lashes, etc.).

This simple task is extremely important! Not just for the longevity of our tools and makeup but also for our skin! So much bacteria can grow on our tools and our makeup itself and if left unkept and well it’s just nasty. Studies have found Staphylococcus, Streptococcus, E-coli, viruses, and bugs…yuck and dangerous! Bacteria, Viruses and Bugs are just one factor to consider even, dirty application tools can also lead to poor application of makeup, promote acne, and wrinkles just to name a few extras if the bacteria and bugs didn’t convince you.

So how do we deal with this quickly and easily? Well it’s pretty simple actually, clean everything and regularly! For brushes and other application tools, such as beauty blenders, eyelash curlers, etc., all you need to do is wash them. You can use a gentle soap or a brush specific cleaner, some warm water and lather away until the water runs clear, then reshape and lay flat or hang to dry.

Cleaning Time

Some tools I like to use to make the task easier are a scrub mat and a brush drying rack. I have been using Quo brushes for as long as I can remember and I also use Quo brush cleaner as I find it does a great job while keeping my brushes supple and not dried out. The Quo cleaner is always available and inexpensive at $12 at Shopper’s Drug Mart.

The brush scrub mat is an alternative to using the palm of your hand and it provides a variety of textures to maximize the cleaning based on what brush you are cleaning, equaling a faster clean. These are also inexpensive, anywhere from $5 and up depending on the size mat you get and where you are getting it from.

Brush Scrub Mat

I recently got a drying rack (it was in my stocking this Christmas) which allows you to hang your brushes upside down, why does that matter you might ask, well it matters because you don’t want water to get into the base of the bristles where they connect to the handle. Water infiltration here will weaken the bond between the handle and the bristles and will also cause the bristles to come apart and that will shorten the lifespan of your brushes. These drying racks are inexpensive, starting around $10 and up and they are available in different sizes, so if you have a lot of different brushes you may need more slots. They quickly click together and apart for easy storage after use so no need for a ton of space. I place mine on a towel and let my brushes dry for 24 hours to ensure they are fully dry.

Brush drying rack assembled

Partially assembled

Ready to be put away

How often are we supposed to wash our tools? Well we are supposed to do it every week. You might be thinking, I don’t have time for that! So I think there are some things to consider for how often to clean. First of all, how often do you wear makeup, if you are a infrequent user you might want to do every other week instead of every week, but the longer you go between cleaning the longer the bacteria has to grow and develop. Also the more often you clean your tools the faster it is every time because there is less built up in the brush or on the tool to clean off. If you really can’t manage every week you should at minimum spray your tools with alcohol between washes to help kill off growing bacteria. Just grab a little spray bottle, new or reuse your setting spray bottle when it is empty (just be sure to clean it well beforehand) and fill it with rubbing alcohol and you are ready to go.

Having a little spray bottle of straight alcohol is a super handy tool and not just for your application tools between washes….So we have cleaned all of our tools and think we are done and ready for another week, right? Wrong! You can’t forget about your makeup itself. If you are using clean tools but never cleaning your makeup you are just reintroducing the bacteria to the tools immediately. This is very easily solved however, the answer is that little spray bottle of alcohol. Open each palette, lipstick, mascara, and liner, everything and spray it with the alcohol and let it dry. This task only takes a few minutes and it will keep your makeup from growing that dangerous and gross bacteria and that will also lengthen the life of your makeup.

These simple actions will increase the life of your tools and makeup and protect your skin. Don’t take for granted how harmful dirty tools and makeup can be!

So next time you have 10 minutes, perhaps on self care Sunday,  clean up and enjoy all of the benefits it will bring!


Comparisons, Self-Doubt and Birthdays

I have always loved birthdays! I love celebrating the birthdays of my family and friends because they were born, I get the privilege of having them in my life and for that I am grateful and will always celebrate them! For me, my birthday has just always been nice to feel special and I have never worried about the number because that’s not what is really important. I have always loved to celebrate, I always try to take the day off and enjoy just spoiling myself and being spoiled.

Today is my birthday and this year I don’t feel the same exactly. I don’t feel like I have accomplished as much as I want to, done as much as I want to, or seen as much as I want to. I find myself comparing to really everyone else and just not feeling as I should. I have always had to work my butt off from a very young age for what I have and don’t get me wrong I am extremely grateful for everything that I do have, I consider myself very fortunate. I have to admit though that everyone else makes it look so easy, so glamorous and fun (please don’t misunderstand I know that these people hustle). It never seems to be that simple, not for me, three steps forward and two back.

I have found this last year harder to not compare myself to others, to want what they have, to look how they look and don’t get me wrong there are some amazing women on social media trying to make a difference regarding this exact thing, @thebirdspapaya and @jameelajamilofficial, to name a couple. It isn’t easy though to change how we feel and I guess this year I am feeling a little inadequate and trying to figure out how to let my passions get back front and centre. I would say that I don’t care what people think, I try not to care what people think, but unfortunately I still seem to.

I am working on changing how I see myself, trying not to compare myself to others, trying to accept that I am full of flaws, insecurities, but also have hopes and dreams, and that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others, just continuing to work towards what I want, even if it doesn’t come to me as easily as it does others.

All and all to say that even at this birthday I don’t know who I am, I am still trying to figure that out and maybe that is a good thing, to keep growing and learning and evolving. I am trying to recognize all of that and turn it into fuel for me to see myself for what I can do and prove myself wrong about who I can be and to be kinder to myself. I think we all need to be kinder to ourselves and try to grow from the things that bother us so we can love the person we are, even though it isn’t always easy to see.

This moment

So I am still going to try to enjoy today, to soak up the pleasure of a day off and the ability to sleep in and not think about all of the what if’s or could be’s and then take on tomorrow like I can own anything!

How do you feel about your birthday, what does it make you think about?

And if it’s your birthday today too, Happy Birthday!!


Another Year………………

Another year has passed us by and well some people may be more than eager to kiss 2018 goodbye, I am looking at it for inspiration going into 2019 rather than something I can’t wait to be rid of.

A lot has happened in 2018, I really haven’t been here that much (writing here that is) because I’ve been too busy and quite frankly tired lol! My career has been quite busy and I have been afforded some amazing new challenges that I am really looking forward to exploring. There have been a lot of tears in 2018 as well, I’ve missed my sweet little sunshine Cooper everyday and it has pained me to see his brother struggling with missing him too. I have missed friends that are a far and cherish every conversation and moment I get to see them, I’ve watched friends lose family and wished I could make it better for them. I’ve discovered that I can stay in a workout routine at home and develop better eating habits and like usual that I can easily fall out of them too and I’ve continued to battle with who I am and what I want out of life, what my style is, and who do I want to be.

So while 2018 wasn’t always easy, there is so very much that I have learnt from this last year. So you might ask, what are the resolutions for this year, what lessons are you taking into 2019?

I have to say it might sound a little strange but I have no real resolutions for 2019, none! I am not doing that to myself this year, setting expectations that I just get annoyed at not meeting.

What I am going to do this year is just be me, whatever that is or becomes!

The lessons I’m taking from 2018 are to take each day as it comes and hope…………hope that I can take time to get in shape, not because the world says I have to but because I feel better when I do, hope to write more and paint more and take more pictures because I miss my creative side and hope to sleep more because I need to!

These may sound like resolutions but they really aren’t they are just my hopes to be who I want to be without restrictions of what others expect me to be and if I don’t get to do some of them then so be it!

Whatever 2018 was for you, good, bad or ugly, I hope you take the time to appreciate the lessons it has provided you with, I hope you go into 2019 with hope for what this year can teach you and I hope that we all learn to be a little kinder to ourselves and spread that kindness to others because really that’s something we all need!

Happy New Year!!!



We all have our favourite things, brands we love and trust, foods we can’t get enough of and activities that make us happy and fulfilled.

Well one of my obsessions is a skincare brand, I can’t get enough of it and I tell everyone about it. This obsession started a little over 6 years ago with a few things, an urgent need for help, a special day and wanting to look my best and ever since I was recommended the first product I have been in love with everything I try by them.

Okay, okay, I know get to it, what brand are you talking about?

So my love is for Avène!

As I have mentioned in previous posts about this brand, they are a company based in France that focuses on the best products for your skin that will not cause reactions but heal. The thermal spring water found in all of their products works miracles and repairs skin and the layers underneath as well. You can check out their website for more history or refer back to my post on That Annoying Winter Itch. 

Why am I obsessed with Avène, because their products are amazing! I was first introduced through Cicalfate, an amazing restorative cream that does wonders on cuts, bites, burns (sun, chemical, razor, etc.), rashes, acne, you name it and Cicalfate can handle it. I always have at least two tubes of it on the go, one at work and one at home, and I try to keep some in my purse too because it always comes in handy. This is one of my absolute go to products that I will never go without. Cicalfate was quickly followed by their Mattifying Lotion, which was exactly what I was looking for to combat the T-Zone and provide moisture to the rest of my face and while it is now discontinued (tears shed), they have an alternative I am eager to try.

All time must have!

I have so many favourites and that is because every new thing I try I love. I have sensitive and allergic skin so I have to be so careful about what I use on it to avoid a reaction and I know that I won’t have any problems with Avène because they work to create products that are gentle yet effective.

Some examples of what I use include the Xera Calm A.D. Cleansing Oil and Balm to combat my dry itchy skin, PhysioLift to get ahead of anti-aging concerns, the Micellar Lotion is soothing and gentle and does the job and I am such a fan of the Cleansing Foam, it never leaves my skin feeling tight or dry, just clean and nourished. Not to mention the Thermal Spring Water Spray with is amazing at anytime of the day, especially great after a run!

Xera Calm A.D. Balm and Cleansing Oil

I could go on for days about all of the products I can’t get enough of but that might take a while. I think it is fairly clear to see that I adore this brand because for me it just works and because of that love, I passionately about Avène and as a result some of my friends ask me if I stock in the company because I am always recommending it to them. They listen though and it always makes me happy to hear the next day how much better their skin feels, how they can’t believe how quickly the products have worked to relieve their sunburn or rash or cut or reaction. I have hooked a friend onto their AntiRougeurs and she can’t believe how good her skin feels, she was given a prescription (a very expensive one) to combat her rosacea and after trying Avène’s AntiRougeurs she doesn’t use her prescription because the AntiRougeurs manages her rosacea and has her skin looking bright and clear with no irritations.  That is the beauty of Avène.

Not even everything I have

So next time you have a skin concern or are just looking for something that works, take a look at Avène, I promise you won’t go wrong! Happy skin everyone!



What’s in the creation of a tradition?

Traditions, we all have them for multiple things in our lives with a variety of different people. What causes us to start a tradition, is it something that just happens, is it something that we decide will become a tradition? I think that both happen, somethings happen more organically and others we choose to make a tradition to keep something happening in our lives.

As anyone else, I have traditions in my life, things that just need to happen no matter what. Recently, a new tradition was born with one of my absolute closest friends and that is to head to Le Nordik Spa Nature every spring……and we are thinking of adding summer into that too! We have a winter tradition of attending the ballet and recently we planned a trip to Le Nordik Spa Nature and it just seems like the next thing to always do. Le Nordik Spa Nature is located in Chelsea Quebec, just a short trip outside of Ottawa.

Le Nordik Spa Nature

We went back in May, so yes this post is a little delayed, and we had the best time. We went the day after that massive storm that had terrible winds and caused quite a bit of destruction but honestly we didn’t even think about that before we went as we had been planning our day for over a month, it can be tricky to get a whole day in when our lives are so busy. We arrived to the wonderful staff letting us know that unfortunately there was no power at the spa but there were only a few things unavailable as a result of that. We figured what the heck, there will likely be fewer people there so it will be lovely anyway. The only thing I was disappointed about missing out on was the eucalyptus steam room, it is one of my favourite places at Le Nordik Spa Nature. 

The day was perfect and honestly you really didn’t even notice the power issues, the staff were helpful and friendly and they did their best to ensure the experience was not tarnished.

It is so easy to spend the day just lounging from space to space, soaking it all in all.  One of the best experiences of the day, aside from convincing another friend that I happened to run into there to get into the frigid waters, was the Aufguss Ritual, this was an incredible experience!

Aufguss this way

The Aufguss Ritual takes place in the Finlandia sauna, one of the many saunas, and takes about 15 minutes from start to finish. It is a ritual that involves the space getting progressively hotter and the diffusion of three different essential oils that are placed onto giant snow balls that are melted over the rocks of the sauna all while between each essential oil the presenter distributes the scents and the steam throughout the space through a beautiful dance with a towel. It was so neat to see the control they had with the towel and to feel the waves of heat roll across my body. The ritual does get hot and we were all informed at the beginning to listen to our bodies and if it was too hot to be sure to leave to ensure our own wellness. I am lucky and enjoy the heat and was able to stay for the duration of the ritual.

Finlandia Sauna

It felt so amazing, having the heat sink into my body, my muscles and my bones just absorbing all of it. Once the ritual is complete this sauna has a salt scrub option after you are done, one salt is infused with mint and the other lavender, it is quite lovely to scrub down and rinse off before you proceed to your next destination.

If you have never been to Le Nordik Spa Nature I highly recommend that you do, I personally have not yet tried the many other services they offer as each time I have gone, I have just enjoyed the thermal cycle and some great food, I hope to enjoy many more of their services on future visits.

Thermal Cycle Cold Pools

This is a day you won’t regret, you will have the best sleep that night and feel energized and ready to take on your busy life again. Let Le Nordik Spa Nature take away your stress and leave you refreshed like nothing else can, you won’t regret the day away. This is exactly why my friend and I have purposely made this a new tradition, to take a day away to leave the stress of everyday life behind and feel refreshed.

If you are looking for a new tradition, please feel free to copy ours! We don’t mind ;). Here’s to relaxing and Le Nordik Spa Nature.


My Cooper

Cooper was a happy and content pup, but you could always tell when he was super happy because he would have a smile on his face that went from ear to ear and on top of that he would get what we called almond eyes. His eyes would change shape from a round shape to an almond shape; that’s when he was so very happy.

He would get almond eyes at least once a day and it usually happened when we were all together; especially if we were doing something as a family like going for a walk, playing in the backyard or even just doing chores outside together. Being together made him happy, to Cooper there really wasn’t anything better than being together as a family.

Happy after a walk

We were safe as a pack, we could protect each other always. I feel the loss of his presence every moment, the safety of the pack. Oliver is trying to figure out how to fill his paws as it were, trying to figure out how to keep the rest of us safe now that Cooper is gone, he misses his brother something fierce too.

My happy almond eyed boy, forever about his family that loved you more than words can ever describe. We all love him and hope that you are at peace and are happy and still watching over us.

Another ponytail donated! (Part 2)

In my previous post I mentioned that I was going to be donating my ponytail again soon. These donations are made into wigs for women who have lost their hair due to cancer. This is a cause that I feel strongly about just because it means a lot to people who are going through treatment and for me it is an easy thing to do.

On April 12th, one day minus 5 years since I donated my first ponytail, I donated my 3rd. Bringing me to a total of 3 feet of hair donated to date.

All tied up and ready to go!

And just like that, 10″ is off

Okay, next step time

This time after I made the cut I decided that I needed a change as well, something to make me feel refreshed and new again, so I decided to lighten up my blonde and be a little bolder.

I have a lot of hair in these foils

This is the most I have ever coloured my hair given how fast it grows, but I am really enjoying the lighter blonde, reminds me of when I was younger. I was a snow white blonde when I was younger and as I have gotten older it has turned into a dark blonde, so it is really nice to have the lightness back again and I think I will go even lighter in the future!

The Final Results!!

My beautiful stylist (pictured above with me) has been with me on this journey the whole time and I can’t thank her enough for all that she does for me, she is the sweetest and damn good at what she does!

There are people who go into the salon for a big change all the time and it’s nothing to take that hair and instead of letting it fall to the floor, tie it up and donate it. Next time you are thinking of a change, or know someone that is, take a step back and think about donating and helping others in their fight. Check out what organizations are available in your area that are doing good things.

Together we can and will beat cancer!!!


Giving Back – One ponytail at a time (Part 1)

We all identify with something about ourselves that makes us feel like us, normal and beautiful. For a lot of people, in my experience particularly women, that thing is their hair. It’s a huge part of who they are and how they identify themselves and having a good hair day makes them feel just right and confident.

I know that may seem odd to some people but it’s true, I see myself with the unruly dark blond hair that does what it wants to and some days that means I look like Medusa or like the main character from Brave (or at least it feels that way to me). The thing is though how we look or feel we look has a big impact on our confidence and how we feel in general.

Nearly 5 years ago I organized a small event for cancer, called Great Length for Great Strength, it was a hair donation event. I had decided many years ago that one day I would donate my ponytail and on April 14, 2013 I did just that! I cut off 13 inches of my locks so that they could be made into a wig for a woman in need. As I mentioned hair is a big deal and when you are fighting for your life and you lose your hair it can be devastating. I wanted to give back, if a wig can give a woman her confidence back and make her feel normal then maybe she will fight harder and if she fights harder then she can win! That is what I wanted!

Ready, Set…

… Cut

This small event had 10 participants donate, only 2 ponytails shy of 2 complete wigs. It was amazing! We donated through Pantene’s program, which provides the finished wigs to the Canadian Cancer Society, who then provides them at no cost to patients.

The final look of 2013

I loved the experience, so much so that I wanted to do it again and I did in 2016 (another 13 inches), again donated to the Pantene program.

Another 13 inches!

The final look of 2016


I plan to cut it again either sometime in April or early May, that will make 3 donations in 5 years, my hair grows fairly quickly, hurray! This time my donation will be supporting a local company making a difference, Hair Donation Ottawa.

This time when I make the cut I am looking for a big change. I want to try something new, the only rule I have is that it still has to go into a ponytail. So I’m looking for suggestions, what do you think, what should I do? I have taken a lot of pride in being able to do this, it is an easy thing to do and it means a lot to me, but I definitely want to have fun with it too, there is something so liberating about cutting off the length and having a whole new look, so let’s have fun!

The straight

Au natural, the curly…it gets curly when the weight comes off.

I will be sharing my experience of this cut with all of you so send me your ideas on what I should do after the big cut!

If you have never donated I highly recommend it, it’s an easy thing to do and there are several great programs that make it easy. Your simple donation can make someone feel like a million bucks and give them the strength to keep fighting until they win. You really can make a difference in someones life with just a ponytail!!